Don’t go until you read this👇 Defensiveness isn’t the real enemy here. It’s a symptom of the problem. The deep shame that you feel is the core issue. When your partner brings up pain, and your body instantly jumps to “I didn’t mean it!”, what’s actually happening is a nervous system trying to protect itself from shame. It’s not that you don’t care, it’s that you care too much about being “the bad guy.” But defensiveness blocks empathy. It shuts down connection right when you need it most. So th
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